Red Rag Top Thoughts....
I was driving to work today and I was listening to ol Tim McGraw....(yes, Cam does listen to other genres of music, country included!!). I was jammin out to the song Red Rag Top - It was off of his last CD, which is a very good cd BTW. As I was weaving in and out of traffic in a sight daze of no sleep, I heard a set of lyrics that just kinda hit me....
"Well you do what you do and you pay for your sins,
And there’s no such thing as what might’ve
Been, that’s a waste of time; drive you outta your mind"
I had to rewind and listen to them again. It made me think about my life and my decisions. I have made good decisions 98% of the time, but the other 2%, I tend to dwell on. Like he said, it will drive you out of your mind. My buddy B has been great to me this year. He is constantly telling me not to live in the past and not to dwell in things. I am finally starting to see that. I appreciate him for that dearly. For some reason though, I keep thinking...I want to figure things out why they are and why they were. It does literally "drive me out of my mind". I am always thinking...whether it be about good or bad...more than usual, the bad out weigh the good. As I was on my date last night, she said something to me that kinda also re-iterrated what B has been telling me....she said "if you keep searching, you will never find the right reasons or the right answers to anything." This is true, if I really think about it. I need to be more "non-thinking" and just live.
A lot of people think that I run from issues. My problems. I was talking to her last night and I told her that I wasnt running from my problems and my past, I was running from the things that re-hash from them once the problems or past is done. I never worded anything so simple and without even thinking. I answered the age ol issue for myself. I dont need to run. There is nothing there to run from and the search is just my insecurity of being alone. Funny how country music can pull things out of you when you least expect it. I dont think any of this would have been possible without help from a couple of people as well too. I mentioned them above.
So, what do I do? I exist and live to forget about the "might have beens" and enjoy my life with the great people I have in it. Thank you all for being apart of ol Cam's life. As for the other people that were might have beens.....nice to meet you.....and goodbye, it's time for Cam to move on.
"Well you do what you do and you pay for your sins,
And there’s no such thing as what might’ve
Been, that’s a waste of time; drive you outta your mind"
I had to rewind and listen to them again. It made me think about my life and my decisions. I have made good decisions 98% of the time, but the other 2%, I tend to dwell on. Like he said, it will drive you out of your mind. My buddy B has been great to me this year. He is constantly telling me not to live in the past and not to dwell in things. I am finally starting to see that. I appreciate him for that dearly. For some reason though, I keep thinking...I want to figure things out why they are and why they were. It does literally "drive me out of my mind". I am always thinking...whether it be about good or bad...more than usual, the bad out weigh the good. As I was on my date last night, she said something to me that kinda also re-iterrated what B has been telling me....she said "if you keep searching, you will never find the right reasons or the right answers to anything." This is true, if I really think about it. I need to be more "non-thinking" and just live.
A lot of people think that I run from issues. My problems. I was talking to her last night and I told her that I wasnt running from my problems and my past, I was running from the things that re-hash from them once the problems or past is done. I never worded anything so simple and without even thinking. I answered the age ol issue for myself. I dont need to run. There is nothing there to run from and the search is just my insecurity of being alone. Funny how country music can pull things out of you when you least expect it. I dont think any of this would have been possible without help from a couple of people as well too. I mentioned them above.
So, what do I do? I exist and live to forget about the "might have beens" and enjoy my life with the great people I have in it. Thank you all for being apart of ol Cam's life. As for the other people that were might have beens.....nice to meet you.....and goodbye, it's time for Cam to move on.