The House of Cam

I cant explain it. There is something inside of me that is changing. A feeling of comfort and sanctuary. Someone has come into my life. I feel very strange. I feel lost and looking for answers for why I have been given this challenge. Especially right now in my life when plans to move to Colorado and begin a new life. Why was this throw at me? Why at this given time, was this person put into my life? I want to know but from what I gather we cannot control that. We have to submit to something higher that we have yet to comprehend....there is a reason.

I know you all know me well, but each and everyone of you can agree when you hear me say that I need emotional stability in my life. I had given up on trying to find someone to fill those shoes, I asked many of nights for a sign of something to change my way of life. I dont know what it is, but I think some of you know that feeling of when things are right with someone that comes into your life at the most unexpected time.

New music is flowing through my head. The tones and sounds of a new life that resides within my consciousness. Do you remember the last time or the first time, you met someone and you knew things were just right? Things made sense and two people could connect on a level that you thought no one else in the world could understand....This is where I am. I dont think I have ever in my entire life met someone like this...It's almost like we knew each other in a past life or something. Many songs have gone through my mind this evening when her and I spent the night one on one togther. I dont know if I can pinpoint a particular song that would say the right things about how I feel tonight...but maybe someone I know very well ( m a K o ) can help....


Tonight I Sleep
by m a K o


You seem to leave me here
Alone to break away
Tonight I see the sky
Dark and bright in the same
I hear the sounds of something there
Hypnotized by your soul
and taken away
You can take the time
to make me see - what I need
The diamond girl - seems polished to so
the mind likes to much
the heart seems full now that you are here
I have found something
way inside of something lost
Shine your light upon my weary face
brighten my times of sarrow lost within
the mountains they scream
of life unlived
they smile tonight as you leave
Alone with my dreams
Alone with my dreams
tonight I sleep..and I know you are there


I couldnt write that if I didnt feel it...read that a few times - see what you see in it..I know what I know, and that isnt everything but nothing good for my life.

Alone in my dreams
cAm

was pretty good. I didnt do a whole lot of anything and yet I did. I spent Friday eve with B and Sunny. They took me to dinner at Olive Garden. It was great. Then we went to the game store and B got a new game for the PS2. From what I saw of it, it looked pretty awesome. You gotta have me over for that B!! We rented some movies as well that night and watched 2 of them. Dodgeball and Resident Evil Apocolypse. They were good too.

Saturday came and I basically laid in bed watching movies all morning. I havent done that in forever. It was a good bonding time with the boys. That eve came and I went out to my parents house and had dinner with them and then showed my moms how to burn a cd on her computer. She learns quick. I am proud of my moms for wanting to learn like that. Most of us computer savy people take that for granted that we already know stuff like that. Its cool that the older gen. wants to learn. I like to teach stuff like that to other people. Whether it be cd burning to programming. I like how they find it facinating. After this, I went to Wal-Mart, did a little shopping and then B and Sunny called to see what was up. I went and met them up at the ol Longhorn Grill in Patch. We shared a few beers there and then Sunny wanted to go hear some Karoke. We drove on over to Dooleys. Once we arrived there I noticed this one chick - she eyed me right when I walked in the door. She reminded me of Summer. We will get back to that....

So we had a couple pitchers of beer and I sang a couple songs only to get cheered by the crowds...It was great. Sunny and B were getting tired, so they headed out and ol Cam was chillin solo. This is when the girl and I began talking. Its amazing how much information you can find out about people when they are drunk. By the end of the eve I think we both wanted to take each other home....well, that didnt happen due to her having friends there and me not wanting to get involved with anyone. She had the most beautiful eyes though I can tell you that....they were ice green and she had dark hair - and damn she was tall...prb 6 foot I would say. I made mention that I just wanted to tell her (in case I never saw her again) that I thought she was beautiful and I appreciated our conversations.

Its funny how I can be such a gentlemen and yet I wish I wasnt sometimes....only this time I am glad I was. With less than 4 months of me remaining in Springpatch, I think I am doing the right thing. It's like B said last night....my girl isnt here. She isnt in the Patch. I believe him. I know I could go out with Melanie (that is her name BTW), but I also knew she wasnt "the one". She said she really didnt like small dogs too...which is an instant adios....but who knows, someone to play with might be fun for awhile as long as no one really gets hurt right?

Today, I spent the morning/afternoon in bed again - only to get up and find beer and wine bottles all over my house. I had a lady friend stay over last night - her name I will not mention but B and Sunny know... I didnt do anything with her, we just chatted and talked about life in general. She knows I am leaving soon and am not looking to get into anything. So, its cool.

Anyway, back to today...I am going out to my parents house for grilled Halibut, rice and corn on the cob...(my favs!) Sounded like moms wasnt feeling good, and pops didnt have a whole lot going on either. At least its nice outside though....prb 58 or something which beats the cold 12 degrees last night or whatever it was. After I leave my parents house, I think I am going to head back here and wait for the Season 2 premiere of Carnivale!! It starts at 9, so make sure no one calls during that time....LOL!

I hope you all had a great weekend.
Cam

That is right peeps....Cam is now on a WiFi network in the casa. I set this puppy up tonight with some thanks to some "Awk`kmed". I had a hard time understanding him but after 20 minutes of chit chat and turning on and off things and setting up router ips addresses....We got it going!

Here is something else new....my new laptop! I new Sony Vaio (top of the line baby!!). I decided to get one so I could work from the road or work on the sites while relaxing on my couch or dining room table. It should be sweet. Oh and get this, this laptop is my first "write off" as a business owner for my taxes come next year. It will also be handy when I move to Colorado and keep me from having to lug the big ol desktop out to the snowy lands.

That is the news for tonight...I think I am going to get some work done. Hope all is well with everyone and I will be posting again soon.

Take care
cam

Several of you thought I looked like Maynard from A Perfect Circle/TOOL with my hair like it is now - so for all of you out there who think this....I kinda agree in these two shots....take care!

I got several emails asking me to send some more pics of me with my hair down - So without further ado...here you go!