The House of Cam

Goodbye for awhile...the house of cam is shutting doors. No explanation is needed nor do I think I should. Take care everyone. Check back in a few weeks.

lost with no insight
it's gone away from me
though it beckens my deepest fears
I have nothing to answer to

go back to sleep



adios
cam

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Babble babble bitch bitch
Rebel rebel party party
Sex sex sex and don't forget the "violence"
Blah blah blah got your lovey-dovey sad-and-lonely
Stick your STUPID SLOGAN in:

taken from "This Is The New Shit"

cell phones: ironic how you grew up without one, and now you freak when you dont have it

Southern Comfort: B likes it!

Jack Daniels Black: Cam likes it!

showers: refreshing and can be highly a turn on

life: an envitable waste of time on your way to somewhere else

computers: amazing how they control us now

laziness: I have been feelin that way for awhile...it happens to you when you least expect it

lonliness: without it.... you cannot be ONE

over population: its killing our wildlife and the way things should be...DO NOT BREED! Most people shouldnt cuz they are fucking morons and just apart of the cattle.

the cattle: society that exists as one and no individuals stand out.

moron: someone who makes dumb ass decisions and fucks something up...usually they are apart of the cattle.

racists: you people need a wake up call. We are all the same.

Dairy Queen restaurant: Sounds good, but too bad that place is so outdated .. they need to close the freaking doors, and come up with a better concept then DQ blizzards.

depression: it happens to the best of us. Deal with it...you dont need drugs to pull you out of it...quit being apart of the cattle.

psychotica: one of my favorite bands - wish they were still together

elton john: good words, bad lifestyle and bad fashion statement..and please for christ's sake, do something with that fucking hair.

A Perfect Circle: underrated..they say a lot and have a good way of saying it.

Marilyn Manson: wish I could have thought of that...keep up the good work.

TOOL: anxious for a new album...you have a way of bringing things to perspective.

great danes: cool dogs, they shit a lot, and generally are not very intelligent

webcams: can get you into trouble

hippies: get with the times

bill cosby: a rockstar who can dance like a badass

time: to go

Ever wonder what really went on in Papa Smurfs little mushroom house?

Check it out here

ROTFL!

that I feel like people always want things from me. I am speaking outside of my best friends....People have a tendency to latch on to me for weird reasons. B said something funny last night that kinda took me off guard when he said it. We were talking about women and how for some reason I always attract ones that think I am the next best thing for them. I dont do anything special, I exist only to get on with life. He says you know what I think your problem is...."at least you dont have to worry about women not liking you"....funny and yet he is right. I dont want to come off conceeded or anything when I say he is right...but he is. It is a problem. They just have tendency's to either be

1. itimidated by me and they wont give me the time of day unless I make the first move

2. they throw every belief in themselves out the window in order to please me in some sense of appreciation

3. they throw themselves at me and expect me to react like they want me to

4. they call and call and call .... fucking annoyes the shit out of me esp if I not dating them.

5. if I am dating them, they want me to do everything for them and include them in my everyday life actions outside of the relationship.

6. fuck this - it is going no where........I could keep going and going

I dont want to go any farther with any of this because some people that do read this blog know how I really am...I am just trying to be a friend. I dont like to be on the phone, I dont like to do things with people unless it sounds like fun to me. B prob knows me best here, and he knows what I am talking about. I dont like when people go to him and talk to him about me and why I do this or why I dont do this....Let me tell you a story.....

I go to Schultz and Dooleys...one of my favorite hangs....(well used to be). I meet this girl there. We have a great time, hang out a few nights, she comes over, we talk and go about our business with our lives...then, suddenly, (time lapse of 2 days) she calls me and freaks out because I am not calling her after two days or I have a freaking life. She then continues to call over and over and over again....now...I dont know about you, but after awhile ...this type of shit gets old .... I even knew her from back when we used to go to high school together.....and she fucking freaks....we didnt sleep together, we didnt even kiss...she just flips, because she suddenly thought there was going to be a lot more to this thing then what I wanted....where in the fuck did this come from? I was just catching up on old times....seeing an old friend....and she flips...you know what FUCK YOU!...time for this person to be out of my life again for awhile....I hated to be that way, but damn....grow up!

I dont know...maybe I just keep going back to the tangent of relationships because I would like to have one. Not here and not for awhile though....I will not date anyone from this town...now, meeting new faces = not a bad deal....but just realize that Cam is only a friend to any new face I meet. Yes, I am lonely as all get up...but I have chosen my path...I want to be this way for awhile; even though it sucks and such...I need it for me to figure out some things....but if you fuck around with me, I will burn ya with a smile.....I just try to be someone fun to people..and to give them an insight to things maybe they have never thought of....its not a mental game or some sort of mind fuck....its life, and if I want to date someone and be in a relationship, then its my choice...a choice that can only be made by me....

soapboxin

cam

...here is some funny shit. Mind you...I hate the Matrix by the way..horrible flicks!

Fart in the Matrix - movie is halfway down on the page...click to download.

I have no fucking clue what this is ... but its funny as shit

Anyone want a free cat? Here you go!

and lastly, ... I would do the same thing if someone was being this annoying....

hope you all enjoy!

like beer and naked ladies...here's a fun little game put on by pilzner...catch the beer bottles, fillin the glass....and then the hottie takes off her clothes....I dont think Christians would want to play this....LOL!, now Catholics...will love this!

Beer and Ass!

Pisces
February 19 - March 20

You're communicating on a whole new level -- no words required. Spooky? A little bit. Neat? Absolutely. Don't share your experience with those who might ridicule it. Test your boundaries -- you're free to your own way and do what you need to do. If it looks silly to others, that's their problem. Everyone needs to respect each other's process.

what a week....

I have had liquid dinner twice this week...that was nice! Work sucked..I fell asleep a couple times throughout the week. I was harassed by my ex yesterday at work - calling me and saying that I had called her the night before. Now why in the fuck would I want or have a reason to call her. She is out of my fucking life, and was before she even knew it. And trust me, I am happy to admit that I have moved on with my life. It was never right in the first place. I had to be someone I wasn't. Good for me I would say... as for her, maybe she can now find some Christian fuck who wants to marry her and sweep her off her feet...I am not going to go any further with this topic...back to me!

So this week was ok. I have to go to the doctor next week for my wrists, and to get prescribed the no smoking pill. I cant wait really to get that going. I have wanted to quit smoking for a long time, but I think now, I am going to for sure. Then, I start another job mid-week next week. I am not going to say where and I hope all of you that read this do not comment on where I am going. Let's just say, it is going to be very good for me. Bills will be paid off in a matter of weeks, and scuba steve will get some new threads; followed by a nice savings account to help save for the trip afar.

Whatelse?? Ummm, I am supposed to meet this chick tonight for a drink. It's a new one, that I have been talking to off and on. She is rather "well off" financially and seems very stable in her job. Cute as a button too with nice big ol.....................................blue eyes! I know you all thought I was gunna say tits or boobs or something....well, she has those too!...LOL! and we all know how much I like money and boobs! The funny thing about it is, everyone I meet here becomes just another time passer.

I am not looking for anything from anyone around here relationship wise. This isnt where I want to settle or find another person to be with. Most of the women here....are just wanting to be taken care of, they want to get married or be in some soul searching relationship that they have no idea what any of that means. The other half of the women here are money hungry, or single parents...or they are the type of woman that cheats on their men and sleeps around with anything 18-56. Now...why in the fuck would I want to date someone from this shithole of a city. Especially another fucking religious one. That is the other main thing around here....most of the women are hypocrits that use some god as an excuse to do immoral things. Welcome to the fucking bible belt...home of the worst mis-aligned closed minded people in the 50 state area...THAT is why I am getting the fuck out of here.

THIS TOWN IS A FLOCK OF FUCKING CATTLE THAT WASTE THEIR TIME BELIEVING IN THINGS THAT DO NOT AND WILL NOT EVER EXIST!....did I mention I hate this town...LOL!

wow, now that was a goddamn tangent....maybe I should go confess....nah, fuck it!...LOL!...geez i dont know what is wrong with me today...maybe I am just impatient, or maybe I just have a sickness in my head. It's a sickness of post economic translation between the matter and lack there of....maybe I will go back to being mr nice cam...maybe I will be the bad cam...wishy washy aye? yeah, try livin in my head.

chip away
cam

This is a classic product of ebonic know-how! Too damn funny, so I thought I would share the laugh!

Not a whole lot to say, except workin the site has been paying off. No word on the house. No word from the client that I was supposed to install this week...No word from Dudley or Sam since they can't speak English...I guess I have No word except this one....word.

LOL!

My Jeep website is now actually registered as a business in the online
world....I told everyone that things were changing...I wouldnt let ya all
down...So, congrats to me! There is a brighter future in the face of Jeepin now...and it has Mojeepin.com written all over it! Thanks for the advice B!

cam

That is how I feel tonight. I came home around 5.30 and started working on Mojeepin.com. In case you all didnt know, that is my Jeep site. Its a great place to find all kinds of information about all things Jeep....and the name doesnt stand for Missouri Jeepin!...It is a slang for the word 'more' - (ie. MoJeepin = More Jeepin) With all that said and cleared up, maybe you should take a little time and take a peak at it. I am going to be working on it quite a bit the next couple months...thanks to B, we have a great plan on what the site can do eventually. Thanks buddy!

Anyway I am off to bed...let me know what you all think of the changes...I will see how long it takes you to find them...B and Sunny...cant part-take is this challenge...LOL! I was talking to them during the whole time and sending them examples of code to look at!!

Oh, and speaking of something to surf...have you checked out my other links to the right of the page?? There are some great ones in there. I will be adding more tomorrow or later tonight after the puppies are in bed.

until next time.

cam

I am working on Mojeepin.com prior to leaving at 7.30. I have to be out of the house then so the peeps can come and check it out again. I am headed over to Big Mike's house to work on his computer...I guess his wife deleted some Windows install folders and things are going awol....Techy Cam to the rescue!!

After that, I am coming home to get on messenger to see what my friends are up to and working on Mojeepin.com...fun fun fun

talk to you all soon

cam

and tonight I have a set of people coming over for a second showing on the house. They are from out of state I guess, or out of town and are relocating to this area...sweet deal ey? Keep your fingers crossed!

Well another day at the office. It's almost time for lunch. I am planning on going home to eat today. I will be eating with the boys again this week, but I am burnt out on turkey sand-b's. I think this week it will be peanut butter and jelly instead. A few Pringles and that should be perfect since I am watching my figure right now.....LOL! yeah right!

I had a good weekend I think overall. I got the house looking good. The open house went well. I even got to bed at a descent hour last night....although, I didnt sleep worth a shit. I was tossin and turnin over and over just waiting to fall asleep. I think Sam prb would have killed me if he could have. He was awake during the whole thing and kept staring at me everytime I would wake up or roll over. He is prob. home sleeping very well today....Dudley on the other hand...well, lets just say his sleep is never a problem.

Anyway, I got a call today from another agent. They are showing my house at 11.30 or 11.45. I am excited about all the action my house is getting. I told my house last night that I was done with him and that I have done everything I can to him. I said that it is now time for him to find his new owner and to let me go. I think he heard me....keep your fingers crossed and if you are religious, say some prayers that my change is happening. If you dont want to do either of those things, well then, you prb arent a friend of mine cuz I happen to have the best friends anyone could ask for. They look out for ol Cam, and seem to only want the best for me....I dont think I say this enough...but thank you all for supporting me...without you all I dont know where I would be today!

Take care and I will speak to you all tonight.

cam

• money - how can I get more of it.
• relationships - why do I not want to be in one for a very long time
• work - what will I do when I move.
• my jeep - I need to be a better dad to him....he needs some TLC
• the boys - great little guys. I need to spend more time one on one with them, maybe take them for a walk once a week, or get back to our sunday night rides in Scuba Steve. They love going for rides
• sex - overrated, and causes problems.
• fucking - fun but causes problems.
• love making - i guess if it gets to this point, maybe the problems have been forgotten or they have been overrated....LOL!
• smoking - I need to quit
• beer - I love it, but I need to cut back
• life - an adventure it has been. Time for a change.
• power - I want it, but when I have it, I dont think I would want it.
• music - so compelling in nature. It drives my thoughts these days. I can put a song in my head to help me coax with any type of feeling I have. Thank god for music.
• tattoos - I need more. I would like to get the spine piece of mine going or my other arm piece, but please refer to bullet #1 why I can't....LOL!
• friends - true friends are ones you would sacrifice eveything for, as they would for you....I only have 1 or 2 of these friends in my life...and I dont think I need to many more.
• ex's - have taught me a lot.
• sleep - overrated.
• religion - no comment....LOL!
• boobs - love them! Need more!
• bacon - a pork product
• my hair - wish it was longer, and that I could do more crazy things to it...but cant b/c of work
• fat rolls - I think I have them...although most people say I am skinny....ironic!
• egg rolls - had 2 tonight - they are good!
• my parents - love them dearly. Need to spend more time with them before I move elsewhere.
• North Carolina - looking into it....always consider all options
• George Bush and John Kerry - we have problems.
• Iraq - turn it to glass
• reading a magazine while on the shitter - very relaxing.
• death - garaunteed
• taxes - see above
• the smell of a puppies breath - irresistable
• the smell of beer breath - gross
• the smell of the ocean - waiting in vain
• carpal tunnel - fucking hurts!

That was some random shit that just went through my head at 1 in the morning...I think its prb time to hit the hay. I know the work day is almost here.....and let me tell ya, cant wait for that!

I want my shark week back!

Pisces - February 19 - March 20

Make sure that there's some method to your madness. Perhaps you can learn something from the teachers of the past. Athenian scholars believed in testing hypotheses twice -- maybe you should, too. After what you've been through these past couple of days, you definitely understand the nature of perfect inspiration in an imperfect world by now. Record your decisions to make for an easier review process. Be sure to write legibly so that the students of the future will be able to study your findings.

I always thought I would make a good teacher!

what do you think?

I love them! I dont have to play with womens boobs when I see them....I just appreciate them. If you would like to send me pics of your boobs ladies...email me some great shots!

ROTFL!

Horray for boobies! (this is actually the title of one of The Bloodhound Gangs cds! Which is great by the way!)

went really well today. It started at 2 and went to 4 and I guess from what my agent said, I might be needing to find a new place to live by the 16th of Sept. I hope this is the case...25 couples came through. 3 of them very serious....esp this one set. They dont have house to sell, because they already sold it and for whatever reason, they need to be in a house/place by the 16th....and they really loved my house. Wish me luck and hopefully I wll find out more tomorrow....I will keep you all posted.

from my dad (the sperm donor dad)....happened on Friday. I was getting ready to leave for the day and the phone rings...Now, mind you I haven't spoke to him in over 2 to 3 years. He found me, and I was stuck cuz I answered the phone.

It was strange. He acted as if he had just seen me a couple days ago. You could tell by the tone in his voice that he was trying to be honest. For him, that is damn near impossible. The reason he called was to invite me to my step-brothers baby shower. Yup, you heard that right...Cam is an uncle...trust me, it blew me away too. He (my brother) found out bout a month ago that he was to be a dad...well, that he already was...Those good ol nights of one night stands caught up to him....Cute baby, but it was strange....Anyway, back to my dad.

He invited me out to my bros baby shower and then said that he and his wife would like me to come out and see the whole family. "We can cook you lunch son...whatever you want". The kniving bastard is trying to make me "have a need to come out to see them". I just sat there in awe. I didnt have a lot to say. He rambled on about his computer, and kept asking me to come out on Sunday. I told him I would call him back and thanks for the invite......I never called.....

I feel weird this weekend. Somewhat sad. I dont think it has to all do with this, but who knows. Tomorrow is another day.

Little B giving daddy some hugs!....he loves his daddy!

Dad and little B typing to welcome Unkle B home! He actually jumped on my lap when I told him we were talking on IM to Unkle B...this is what Dudley typed to welcome him home.......

Ah! The notorious carpal tunnel syndrome....this sucks!

Not feeling too well today....Just killin time....

A more recent pic of Scuba Steve....he is a work in progress...but soon, he will be the way he should be!

same thing as yesterday....weeeeee haaaaaa.....yeah....

i am so fucking excited.....

~ bleh

cam

with Cam not Dennis Miller goddamn it! I know that is what some of you thought....funny thing is, I did too.

Anywho, here is the breakdown of my weekend to come....

Friday night:
1. I am supposed to work on a lady's koi pond at 5.30 this eve...but, I dont think I can do much for it.
2. eat dinner
3. watch some porn - some good 90's fuckin!...lol!
4. work on the computer5. go sleep on the couch

Saturday/Saturday Night:
1. mow the yard
2. pick up the garage
3. maybe clean scuba steve
4. go to circuit city to get a copy of a receipt made
5. Timo might be having a party out in Highlandville...it would be nice to see all the peeps from Tnow again.
6. home to bed

Sunday/Sunday night:
1. maybe clean scuba steve.
2. vaccum the house b4 the open house and final cleaning of shit around the house.
3. go to my parents for dinner
4. take the boys on a ride in the jeep.
5. watch some porn - prb more 70's or 80's old school type. These are classics to just have playing around the house.
6. work on the web
7. go to bed

Pretty uneventful aye. Sounds shitty to me if you ask me....cuz its the same old shit every weekend. This town fucking blows!

Do you know Search Engine Optimization? WHAT THE FUCK? Where did this come from? I am sitting in my cube, minding my own business (I was thinking about fucking and money...BTW) and this question gets posed to me. Come to my office they say...lets have a chit chat....

So, there I was. I am not only the lead tech support guy, but now I am the database guy, the web master/designer/graphic guy, one of the installation guys and now a fucking SEO guy. Jesus fuck! When do I have time for this? Like I dont have enough on my plate these days...oh, BTW, just found out today...that I will going to New Jersey for an install sometime soon. Don't know when, but NOT looking forward to it. I think that is where all the fucking terrorists go to kill people. Crash planes and what not. Fuck that!

As you can tell...I am in a shitty mood today.

I had a liquid dinner last night and my tum is somewhat of a churning mess. I think I am going to take lunch early today, just so I can get some food in me and get my sugars back up....being hypoglycemic SUCKS!....oh wait, I think I just told ya something that maybe you didnt know about ol Cam. It's funny cuz check out these symptoms of the disease...I think I have more than 7 of these pretty much all the time...with the exception of the bedwetting....LOL!

Nervousness, irritability, exhaustion,Faintness, dizziness, tremors, cold sweats,Depression, migraine headaches, insomnia, digestive disturbances,Forgetfulness, mood swings, anxiety, aggression, violence, anti-social behaviour,Sugar addiction, drug addiction and alcoholism,Mental confusion, limited attention span, learning disability,Lack of sex drive in women and men, lack of concentration,Itching and crawling sensation on skin, blurred vision, nightmares,Phobias, fears and neurodermatitis, nervous breakdown,Bedwetting and hyperactivity in children.

actually, I think I have all these issues except the one mentioned before (bedwetting)...funny shit huh? I think so...but hey least I try to see it positively.

now, I need more sugar!

Just for you B! Sorry bud it had to happen to ya!

What is on the menu today?

Honey smoked turkey breast wearing baby swiss cheese and 3 slices of bacon. Garnished with a spread of Miracle Whip and lightly toasted in the glorious Toastmaster toaster. Comes served with the (#2 of the day) ice cold refreshing sugar jolt of Dr. Pepper and polished off with a slight grip of Pringles to be shared with the curly dogs upon consumption. Regular flavored of course.
Served to the side.

for dessert...

Scrumbscious, sweet enticing.....nothing.

.........


......


...


back to work....damn!

really de-hydrated lately.

My daily Dr. Pepper drinking of 12 cans a day has become all of 2 a day now. This change...was a good one...and happened about 1 month ago. I feel really good drinking all the water I do now. Today already, I have had 6 bottles of water and my morning Dr.Pepper. Mind you I have pissed about 80 times too, but I just cant seem to get enough water. I dont know what it is, but maybe the weather or something is making me feel this way. Too many beers?? Prb not. I havent really "drank" since I was in Florida at that Irish
Pub. What gives? Who cares...I am just a fish out of water anyway! LOL!

I made my fucking bed already.

BITCH!

I have been having these dreams of my ex wife the past few nights. They are strange. Each one is the same, but yet things change as the dreams go on. It has been awhile since I have seen my ex-wife, to be quite honest, I dont think I would recognize her even if I did pass her on the street. That part of my life is locked away these days. Thoughts and hopes of my happy marriage ended shortly and abruptly when she had an affair and began her downward spiral of
drug use. It's a sad thing to see, especially, after we had dated for almost 12 years prior to getting married.

So...these dreams....

Dont think that they were sexual by any means. They generally start off with me walking through a park or on the beach. I sit down next to her on a blanket and then we begin talking. The conversations change from dream to dream, but each one is about moving on. I see her with hideous white trash tattoos much like the "biker type" would have. She is either thin as a rail or fatter all over, but by any means, she is not attractive to me anymore. I view her as just someone to speak to. An acquaintence. We discuss everything from what we have been up to, to things like life. Then, I stand up and leave the conversation and never turn back around to look at her. I see my hair blowing in the wind behind me as if I am taking on a new life. Letting go of the old and never looking back.

It's strange, because when I awake from these dreams, I have a good feeling. I want her to have the best life she can have, whomever she thinks she needs to become. No matter if she is with the guy she had the affair with...I want her to be happy and do well. I walk away from these dreams and realize that I have "let go" and hold no grudges now. Closure at its finest. It was as if I have never met her and I dont know her. A good feeling to have taken off my shoulders finally. I think a lot of this has to do with me selling the house as well. It was "our" house. Even after another ex moved in and then abruptly moved out, it was "our" house. My priorities in life right are not in that house. I have done my work to it to get it ready to sell. I have said goodbye
to it and have already smiled and waved my departure. It knows my time is up there. I know this...and this ... is another great feeling.

Til I dream again...I will be....around

......it's time to go

for lunch today.

I had chinese food with the boys. Sweet and Sour Springfield style chicken...something I will miss when I move from here. It has been quite a day already. I hit the sack last night around 3 am, and then sat there and watched the Olympics til 4 am...let me tell ya, that shit is boring...

I have a ton on my mind today. I have music in my head, that wont go away. It also brings me to the thought that I have a ton to do for a particular website that is under development. I also have been thinking about my Jeep site today. www.mojeepin.com. I dont know what I want to do with it, but I think I have some great ideas. If you guys get a chance to check it out, please do so and let me know if you have any ideas on what you think would make it a better site. Other than that, I have to get back to work.

talk to you all soon

cam

Seems some of my favorite bands have been up to their ears in new releases....here are just a few to mention...


Depeche Mode has been up to some great new works ... the first of which is a 2 disc remix album to be released on October 25th in the US.

"Remixes 81-04" is a 2-disc set spanning over 20 years of Depeche Mode's pioneering remixes. Almost a greatest hits collection, the album is a compendium of Depeche Mode classics remixed by some of the best remixers in the world, including Underworld, Goldfrapp, Air, Kruder and Dorfmeister, Timo Maas, Flood and of course Depeche Mode themselves. It is also released as a limited edition triple disc set, featuring a bonus disc of highly collectable and rare remixes. At once a celebration but also an historical record of the evolution of the remix, the album is a fascinating and deeply rewarding document of an emerging art form.

To read more about this venture...click here Remixes 81-04

They also have been putting together a new DVD titled "Devotional". It is said to be release on September 21 in the US....(B will like that!).

To find out more and watch preview clips, click here Devotional

B will even be glad to know that he can even change his AOL buddy icon to ol Dave Gahan doing the "I Feel You" clap - check it out here B ICONS


RAMMSTEIN has been hard at it in the studio working on their latest album. It will be arriving in stores soon. Read more about it here RAMMSTEIN FUCKIN ROCKS!


Marilyn Manson has also been working on another album. Only this time, its a greatest hits cd with one new track...a cover of one of my fav tunes ... Personal Jesus (originally by Depeche Mode). It will be arriving in stores September 28th. Wanna know more...click my EGO


Finally, another band fresh off the downlow, is m a K o. Their album comes out at the end of October...Not too many of you know about them, but they have some great stuff. Last I heard the album was in final editing stages and key production has already taken place...They are truly one of my favorite new bands of today...I was lucky enough to hear some of their stuff off of Itunes and had a chance to download some of it. Very...Very good shit! They have a sound that is refreshing for this day and age...kinda pseudo NIN meets Enigma...

To find out more about them go swim with the sharks...

That is about it for all my music news for today...actually, for awhile...I will keep ya posted on anything else that I hear...oh and if you guys know of some kewl shit that I might dig about some of my favorite bands, send it on...

de-viate

cam

Ladies dont take offense please....but I found this in Maximum magazine and just had to post it cuz it made me go...."awwwwww yea!"

"What do you call a blond standing on her head?"



.....


......



.......



..........


A brunette with bad breath!



ROTFL...sorry, I just had to post that...its only directed towards blonds....and I dont really know to many of those these days...hope it didnt offend anyone....but, do I really give a shit....

LOL

cam

Well....

I am back...back to the old shithole called Springpatch. I have to say that I haven't really missed anything here besides my dogs and B. These guys are all my best friends. I really couldnt ask for a better best friend then Bruce. He has really brought things to my eye and opened a new light in old Cam. His positive thinking and hilarious mannerisms make me appreciate our friendship even more. Thanks bug for being such a great friend. As for my boys....ol daddy is glad to be back to hang with ya guys. Unkle B took good care of you and we appreciate it dearly.

I thought it was rather funny how when I came home, Samanoski wouldnt have anything to do with me for a day and a half. Dudley (little B) was all over me...just glad to see dad. It's funny how they both are my little tikes and yet they are so different in their needs. One has to be around me at all times (Sam) and the other comes around whenever he wishes to be loved on. Then, I leave for 4 days and they have different ways of dealing with me when I get home...it was too funny.

So my trip was good. It was a nice experience to get away. I had a great time with a good friend. We got to watch the storms blow in the first night I was there. Had great seafood, and even met a traveling Irishman. This guy was hilarious, although really vulgar, he cracked me up. I tried to have him post on here, but for some reason, the audio blogger didnt take...It would have been a classic moment in the house of cam...I can only live with the memory of an Irishman whom bought me several Guiness' beers and got me fucked up at his favorite local Irish pub. oh and I forgot to mention....I had to have a couple Coors lights just for my buddy B...since he couldnt make it down....I thought it was only fitting.

This brings me to something that I have been thinking about today. I just went away and came back. I suddenly have seen a few things/thoughts.

- Life is an adventure and everyday is a new day.

- Friends are only as good as they allow themselves to be - true friends are rare and its amazing how things so simple can change overnight if the situation is bad.

- Patience happens only if you allow it to. I am trying to sell this house...and this means that I have to be patient and not try to force something that will happen in its own time and place. This is a lot like "looking for love"...It will never happen. If one is searching for an answer or someone/something to fill a need that they think they need... then that need will never be met in the right manner....if at all. I hate the fact that selling this house has made me so anxious. Upon returning from my trip I have found that I will just have to go with the flow if I want to get to where I need to be. People cant ask for love or expect it to be given to them just because they want it so bad...It has to take place when it is right and the right time, much like this house finding its new owner...I truly believe the house will let them know that they are the ones that need it more than I do now.....as for me, I am not searching for any of this now. I am just going to be Cam...

I will tackle my prbs, get past them, learn from them and move on. I suggest some of you to the same...It will get your feet and mind pointed in the right direction.

Now, I think that was some great randomness by your old pal Cam. I am glad to be back to my friends and family...we have many adventures left to conquer...I hope to see you all there.

mediate.....

cam

I had to post this pic a good friend of mine sent me from down in Florida. I have this as my background on my computer...I just love the waves, the washout, and the way the clouds are all integrated into one pic...the boat seems very apart of nature, like its all one contiuous scene of movement and its secrets await my journies....LOVE IT!

Here it is....12.23 in the morning and its another night of no sleeping. I am so sick of this shit. I go to work day in and day out...and I work at home more then I do at work. I come home and it's like I have nothing better to do. I have been working on the house for the past 3 weeks and I am so sick of this shit. I sleep maybe a couple hours a night and wake up every 12 minutes. I have too much going on to relax. I keep thinking about moving and getting out of this shithole that I live in. I hate this fucking town!

Its like a song I once heard...its a song by Stabbing Westward called Television. Read these lyrics and I think you will see what I mean.

I sit alone contemplating
What is missing inside me
I desperately try to remember
A life that's not meant to be
I meditate
And try to recapture
Some sense of reality
In my life
When I look around
I see numb empty faces
The world is waiting to die
And this apathy
Is so suffocating
The slow decay of my mind
I've searched the world
For someone with answers
To questions that are plaguing me
I scream in vain
To anyone who'll listen
But everbody's watchin' TV
Is anyone alive?
Am I lost in a world
Where nothing matters?
Am I lost in a world
Where no one cares?
Is anyone alive?
Are we lost in a world
Where nothing matters?
Are we lost in a world
Where no one cares?
Is anyone alive?

This is how I feel. So fucking numb. Like no one listens. Like no one cares. It's funny because I think people care but yet, when it boils down to it...who really gives a flying fuck (<--- missouri word). I awake in the morning and listen to people talk about everything from software to sex. I think a lot of people these days are lost. They have no sense of what really matters. I think I have to just let go of things that are somewhat of a reality. I have release myself from the whereabouts. I need my porn. I need my mind. I need my thoughts. It's the beauty of being numb.

This is nothing more than an escape from where I should be ... please ignore everything I have said. I have no righteousness right now...

fluid

I sit here wondering what the fuck and I doing? I go to this job day in and day out, sitting on my ass listening to people bitch about their computers and how our software is smarter than they are....It's quite comical because these people are everyday people that take care of your money and mine. You heard it right...these people are bankers.... Our software is not directly aimed at bankers, its just that a lot of banks use our software because they have to store reports for up to 10 years. This could be anything from statements to check images. Our software goes in and archives these reports and puts them out there so they can retrieve them in case they need to. Its really strong and good software, but the users of it are fucking morons. I had this call today where some guy who has been using our product forgot his fucking password...now, call me an ass, but if you have been using this password for the past 9 nears and suddenly you forget and have to make a call into the tech line to find your password (mind you, we dont even store their passwords here, so how the fuck would I know)....you are a fucking idiot.

I deal with people like this everyday and its getting really old. Somedays I just sit here and fuck around on the computer. I try to find other things to do that keep me offline, because everything I do on the internet or email is tracked...so, I come up with shit to do. Like this post...I am writing it in a text editor offline and will take it home on a floppy disc to post...fucked up? Yes, it is!
So my day is really shitty today. I am bored out of my mind, with nothing to do and nothing to say.

I did have a good weekend though. Bruce has been out on hiatus in Wisconsin visiting a friend of ours. I worked on the house all weekend and finished up quite a few things around there. I watched a shitload of TBS this weekend. I think they played Tomb Raider and Romeo Must Die like 80 times...followed by an injected Deep Blue Sea. I do like Deep Blue Sea even though sometimes its kinda cheesy. The sharks kick some serious ass in that flick and I like the fact that they used Tiger Sharks instead of your normal Great White. I think the most comical part of the whole movie is when the sharks swim backwards...this is technically and physically impossible for a shark to do....cracks my ass up.

Another random thought for today occured when I was leaving Mike and Syds house after feeding their dog Bear. I was leaving their house and came to the intersection of Walnut Lawn and Kansas Expressway. I got the to the light and suddenly I was sitting there and glanced over to my left. Here crossing the road was a family of ducks. The babies were a little bigger than normal, hell maybe it was just a pack of ravenous quackers on a rampage. I have no clue....but the funny part of it is...the light turned green in the left turn lane and there were about 5 cars in the lane....they all waited patiently for the ducks to cross...then our lane turned green...and the ducks were crossing our lane....(which had about 15 cars waiting in it)...no one person honked or threw a fit...they all waited for the ducks to cross...then we drove on. It was quite a moment and I wish I had a camera to capture it. Here you have people that are furious and crazily driving to get to work by 8....and it all just stopped...for something so simple....it made me feel good. I instantly thought about how simple life is and how a lot of times we dont take the time to stop and let things happen. Keeping our "ducks in a row" means that things will line up the way they should, but you have to have patience in order for them to cross the road. Amazing, simply amazing...and yet, very inspiring.

til next time

cam

Well, the Jeep Room is PACKED! I have like 20 large Jeep toys left and I am done. I worked all day on it, and then at 4.00pm, my buddy Travis came by and helped me finish it out. I am one step closer to my goal...this was a major accomplishment....and I am tired as all fuck.....have a great night everyone....Thanks Trav for all your help!

on the toilet reading my favorite Jeep catalogs and thinking about what all I would like to do to Scuba Steve....(that would be my Jeep Rubicon). I have added several things to him since the picture that is below this post...but those pics will come at a different time...Let's just say, he already has been slightly modified...I also have several boxes full of parts and accessories that I need to put on him, but just havent had the time for some reason..

I was thinking that I need to spend more time working on him and making him the way I have always wanted. I plan on having this Jeep for a long time, and using him the way he was made to be used. I think he is mad at me cuz I havent givin him a bath in forever or vaccumed him up on the insides...Things need to change....I am sorry Scuba Steve, I will work on ya bud!

Here is the list of things I would like to add to him. The list is pretty excessive, but there is always time. I will try to link out on each of these parts so you can see what I am talking about. And if you ever want to get me something for a holiday....here is a list....LOL!

Suspension and Tires:
FABTECH 4 INCH LIFT KIT
Old Man Emu NitroCharger Shocks - Set of 4
Goodyear Wrangler MT/R Tires - I already have 31's, but I would like 33's.

Exterior:
Go There Engineering Front bumper with brush guard
WARN A9500-TI-SR winch
Trail Armor by Bushwhacker
WARN 6inch driving/fog lights
A roof rack with mounted cages - more than likely made by Go There Engineering.
Tomken or Wilderness Offroad swing out tire carrier
....and there is prb more....

Interior:
GARMIN eTrex Legend C GPS unit with R.A.M mount.
A new mount for my CB
Bestop Molded Bikini Top with overhead console - (I really just want this for the console)
Wet Okole Front and Rear Neoprene seat covers - color matched to my interior.
Night vision mirror
Roll bar mount for my fire extinguisher
Power window kit for full steel doors
VDP sound wedges without speakers (I like to pick out my own speakers!)
Stainless steel tailgate sill
K&N FIPK cold air intake

you know, this list could go on and on....and I am getting tired of typing....LOL! So, I will leave it at that for awhile...I think that is a pretty good list! Some things are $$ and some things are cheap...I just need to start with the cheaper things I want and save for the more expensive ones.....One day, Scuba Steve will be one hell of a Jeep....well, he already is....he is a RUBICON!

This is Scuba Steve, the day I got him...He has changed some since this pic, and hopefully, I can get some recent pics up here...Maybe B can help me out and take some good shots for me....

Here we can see a view of the back of my house. The whole upper deck and the mini decks are the ones I built this year. The upper deck was extended out 4 feet to meet up with the edge of the house...Pretty fucking kewl place to hang and drink a brew...Thanks to B for these great shots...

Here is a view of my deck that I built...notice the surround sound speakers....This was a two year summer project in the making..but its finally done!

The gutz of the machine....close up....all lights...sweet as hell huh?

the close up....night time view....only fan lights on.

The new box....lit up....full lights on

I am back...finally!

I just powered on my "new" computer just a min. ago...and guess what? It all works. Basically, my power supply went on my VAIO case...a replacement was 412.00. Mind you, I didnt want to pay that, so I thought there had to be another way. I went and picked up a new case, fans, power supply...etc etc... and Viola! It took about 3 days to get everything mounted up due to my excessive beer drinking, cable tying and even more beer.

So, the VAIO case is a piece of shit. I had to sacrifice a few parts of the old machine because they wouldn't fit in the new case. (just a few USB ports and my audio/video RCA hookups on the front of the box - which I have never used). The only prb is that this new box is loud....It has 7 fans in it. I can damn well assure you, this puppy isnt over-heating ever again. 4 of the fans lite up blue, while I also mounted some cathode lights in there as well (they have a switch that I can turn on and off.....oh and in case you are wondering....one side of the case is see-thru.....I will take some pics and post them here in a tad.....Its pretty fucking kewl...

It's nice to be back though....seems I have missed you guys.

cam

well, B is lucky...his PC is covered under BestBuy's thingy. Me on the other hand....I am in need of a power supply....if you are just now reading this and havent read B's BLOG....both of our PC's went down on the same day...could it be a sign...maybe I should be packing or something?? .... too much time spent on this blog maybe?? Gotta go ....

Give B the phone when you are out drinking....You made some dumbass choices last night by dialing people that are out of your life....You are ready to move on and need to let them be....Never go back to your past, you made the right decisions.