why is it
that I feel like people always want things from me. I am speaking outside of my best friends....People have a tendency to latch on to me for weird reasons. B said something funny last night that kinda took me off guard when he said it. We were talking about women and how for some reason I always attract ones that think I am the next best thing for them. I dont do anything special, I exist only to get on with life. He says you know what I think your problem is...."at least you dont have to worry about women not liking you"....funny and yet he is right. I dont want to come off conceeded or anything when I say he is right...but he is. It is a problem. They just have tendency's to either be
1. itimidated by me and they wont give me the time of day unless I make the first move
2. they throw every belief in themselves out the window in order to please me in some sense of appreciation
3. they throw themselves at me and expect me to react like they want me to
4. they call and call and call .... fucking annoyes the shit out of me esp if I not dating them.
5. if I am dating them, they want me to do everything for them and include them in my everyday life actions outside of the relationship.
6. fuck this - it is going no where........I could keep going and going
I dont want to go any farther with any of this because some people that do read this blog know how I really am...I am just trying to be a friend. I dont like to be on the phone, I dont like to do things with people unless it sounds like fun to me. B prob knows me best here, and he knows what I am talking about. I dont like when people go to him and talk to him about me and why I do this or why I dont do this....Let me tell you a story.....
I go to Schultz and Dooleys...one of my favorite hangs....(well used to be). I meet this girl there. We have a great time, hang out a few nights, she comes over, we talk and go about our business with our lives...then, suddenly, (time lapse of 2 days) she calls me and freaks out because I am not calling her after two days or I have a freaking life. She then continues to call over and over and over again....now...I dont know about you, but after awhile ...this type of shit gets old .... I even knew her from back when we used to go to high school together.....and she fucking freaks....we didnt sleep together, we didnt even kiss...she just flips, because she suddenly thought there was going to be a lot more to this thing then what I wanted....where in the fuck did this come from? I was just catching up on old times....seeing an old friend....and she flips...you know what FUCK YOU!...time for this person to be out of my life again for awhile....I hated to be that way, but damn....grow up!
I dont know...maybe I just keep going back to the tangent of relationships because I would like to have one. Not here and not for awhile though....I will not date anyone from this town...now, meeting new faces = not a bad deal....but just realize that Cam is only a friend to any new face I meet. Yes, I am lonely as all get up...but I have chosen my path...I want to be this way for awhile; even though it sucks and such...I need it for me to figure out some things....but if you fuck around with me, I will burn ya with a smile.....I just try to be someone fun to people..and to give them an insight to things maybe they have never thought of....its not a mental game or some sort of mind fuck....its life, and if I want to date someone and be in a relationship, then its my choice...a choice that can only be made by me....
soapboxin
cam
1. itimidated by me and they wont give me the time of day unless I make the first move
2. they throw every belief in themselves out the window in order to please me in some sense of appreciation
3. they throw themselves at me and expect me to react like they want me to
4. they call and call and call .... fucking annoyes the shit out of me esp if I not dating them.
5. if I am dating them, they want me to do everything for them and include them in my everyday life actions outside of the relationship.
6. fuck this - it is going no where........I could keep going and going
I dont want to go any farther with any of this because some people that do read this blog know how I really am...I am just trying to be a friend. I dont like to be on the phone, I dont like to do things with people unless it sounds like fun to me. B prob knows me best here, and he knows what I am talking about. I dont like when people go to him and talk to him about me and why I do this or why I dont do this....Let me tell you a story.....
I go to Schultz and Dooleys...one of my favorite hangs....(well used to be). I meet this girl there. We have a great time, hang out a few nights, she comes over, we talk and go about our business with our lives...then, suddenly, (time lapse of 2 days) she calls me and freaks out because I am not calling her after two days or I have a freaking life. She then continues to call over and over and over again....now...I dont know about you, but after awhile ...this type of shit gets old .... I even knew her from back when we used to go to high school together.....and she fucking freaks....we didnt sleep together, we didnt even kiss...she just flips, because she suddenly thought there was going to be a lot more to this thing then what I wanted....where in the fuck did this come from? I was just catching up on old times....seeing an old friend....and she flips...you know what FUCK YOU!...time for this person to be out of my life again for awhile....I hated to be that way, but damn....grow up!
I dont know...maybe I just keep going back to the tangent of relationships because I would like to have one. Not here and not for awhile though....I will not date anyone from this town...now, meeting new faces = not a bad deal....but just realize that Cam is only a friend to any new face I meet. Yes, I am lonely as all get up...but I have chosen my path...I want to be this way for awhile; even though it sucks and such...I need it for me to figure out some things....but if you fuck around with me, I will burn ya with a smile.....I just try to be someone fun to people..and to give them an insight to things maybe they have never thought of....its not a mental game or some sort of mind fuck....its life, and if I want to date someone and be in a relationship, then its my choice...a choice that can only be made by me....
soapboxin
cam