The House of Cam

I am back at this blog thing....

Not a whole lot to say though except that I have been working my ass off and spending little time at my newly SOLD home!! I have been pondering the thought of where to move to....shall it be Florida? Wisconsin? North Carolina? or even Colorado? Hell, I can go anywhere and pretty much do whatever I want now. Things are looking up, as long as the bank quits fucking me over.

tedious nothings are rambling torture!

cam

my journey....has began

my house is under contract....

my music is beginning to take form....and will soon be in your hands...

my best friend is getting married....and I cannot be happier...

my dogs are always there with a happy tail wag...

my mother and I are eating lunch together tomorrow...

my relationship is going very well...

my life is getting ready to change drastically based upon recent happenings...

my sister got married last weekend...

my symptoms are getting worse...

my mind is a terrible thing to waste...

I am Jack's lack of intuition........................................

Things have been hectic the past few weeks. I have been fighting the flu for the most part, but now I think it has subsided into broncchitis (or however you spell that damn word). So beyond that, I have been pretty good. My mood seems to be picking up and I have no anger (at least this week) towards anyone. It's funny how some days I am like that and others I am not. This week I spent most of my free time with her. She is really fun to be around and seems to enjoy much of the same things as I. We always have a great time together, except when she beats me at Monopoly!!...LOL!

Before I get onto anymore randomness, I would like to take the time to congradulate Unkle B and Sunny! They have decided to take the plunge and get married. I am so happy for you both, and cannot wait to the big day! My best of wishes to you both as for you are ever loved.

Now, with all that out of the way....welcome back to the House of Cam! I have been on a hiatus for some time, but I think it was much needed. As you all know that I am moving soon, but it seems that it will be sooner then expected. My house is going under contract soon and it's time for Cam to pack up and begin his new quest in life. This time, I dont know where I will end up. I have several places in mind...but they all seem to be bashed by hurricanes.....LOL! I guess my life is going to change pretty quick and in perfect timing. It's time for Cam to get on with life. Whether it be here or somewhere far away from everyone here. My new journey is ready to begin. It's time to start packin!....I will keep you all posted on this subject later...just make sure and to check back....

Other things.....hmmmm, I finally got my new Psychotica cd's!!. They are one of my favorite bands, that have a very unique sound. They split up back in the late late 90's and their last album, "PANDENMIC" was never released until this year, thanks for artmonkey records. I had some of their songs from that album ripped via MP3, thanks to Monty, but the quality of the recordings were very ho-hum. Yesterday, I received the full studio album along with their other rare album titled "THORN". They are a band that presses the limits of religion and the art of sound. In case you are curious who they are or what they sound like you can visit their website here. A bit of pre-warning though: they are not for the absent minded listener. Their sound is very symphonic and neurologically challenging. Everytime I listen to them, I hear things in their music that I have never heard before. I can only hope that one day they might release other music.

What else.....well I have been on a shopping spree recently as you can tell...but I also got the new Depeche Mode DVD titled "devotional". I have to say that this dvd is one of their best concert dvds that I have seen. I have them all, but this one tops them. If you have a chance to see it, make sure and try because it's worth it 100 fold!.

The new Rammstein album is being release in North America this coming Tuesday. This is a much anticipated album for myself and B. These guys have been out of the scene for quite some time and it will be nice to hear our German industrial rockers kick some ass again...cannot wait for this one! Also on Tuesday, Marilyn Manson is releasing his "greatest hits" collection with a cover of Depeche Mode's "personal jesus" on it. If you havent heard or seen this video, I have to say that its freaking awesome.....nice job Manson!

I guess that is about it for now. I cant think of anything else to write....lol!

you all take care and hope to have you visit me again...

laterz

cam

I lied...the houseofcam is still open and I have a few things for you all to think about....

I am tired of people judging others. I want to be someone that I have always wanted to be ... I hate relationships because someone always gets hurt. I dont like to hurt people unless they cant really see the real reason and they cant take no for an answer.

how long to you spend with someone before you are considered "dating"? 2 dates? 5 dates? what do you all think - how long before it's considered a "thing"....

weird

I love porn! I love 80's porn - the great story lines and the raspy filming does it all for me....some great 80/70's porn

debbie does dallas

behind the green door

high school memories

taboo

hot dallas nights

every woman has a fantasy


I could come up with a few more, but I am drunk and tired....time for sleep...make sure the boogeymen come to visit you....he always has something nice to comfort you with......

We have spent together....ok so last night we were a tad drunkered...but she forgave me today...she is pretty awesome! Ol Cam is actually happy again....very happy.

I am tired today! Went out with her again last night. I am loving every minute I get to spend with her. We are taking things waaaaaaay slow, and that is very fine with me. She is great. She got to meet unkle B last night when he came up to show us his new ride!! Very nice my friend! You did well and I cant wait for you to take me for a ride in it sometime.

I am at work right now so I cant be on here long. I am still drunk but am coming out of it slowly..might help if I get some food to absorb half of this shit....I love being fked up at work and no one knows. I just hate the feeling of how long the day is taking......

It's nice to have someone and call you for advice. My buddy John who is
dating one of my good girlfriends Mindis, called me today at lunch. He was calling to ask me what I thought of a Wrangler he found out in the Republic area. From what he said, it sounded like a great deal. Low miles, lifted, automatic with air - man, I dont know how he could pass this one up. It was nice that he called me to ask my opinion on the actual Wrangler itself! I enjoy talking Jeep shop all I can, esp when it's something that I truely love and have a passion for. John has a Grand Cherokee that is a little older but is in pretty good shape. He is thinking about trading it in for the YJ. I think its a great move buddy!!

It's funny how Jeepers stick to Jeepers. The vehicles have a way to draw you in - their capabilities and freedoms are unfathomed. I sometimes feel sorry for people that dont understand what a Jeep really is. Though it may look like an over grown Matchbox toy, they have a sense of prowlness to them. And for any of you non-believers out there that think that a Hummer is better than a Jeep....read this:

http://host1.cj-8.com/

This is why you will see many Jeeps in town and out and about with Hummer H2 rescue decals on them. Mine will be here in a few weeks!

I wish you the best John on the Jeep...Just make sure and keep me updated buddy, cuz I am looking forward to seeing it.

laterz
cam

It's funny how when I date people...they want to act like a freaking mom to me. Trust me, I am not referring to anyone who reads this BLOG or my date last night...I am just talking in general relationships with me. The woman thinks that she has to be a mommy and make sure everything is right and that all is taken care of with me...now what pisses me off the most about this, is the fact that they try and advise me on my actions and what is should or shouldn't be doing. I get the ol "well you really should do this or that"....or "you know what you should do" shit. I am a grown man! What the fuck is this about? If you want to be mommy to someone, go fuck something and get knocked up!, just leave me alone....ROTFL! I have a mom and she is the shit and she doesnt even treat me like this!!
sorry, that was random ... but needed.

cam

are bastards! I finally got a hangnail out of my finger that has been there for three weeks. It was a deep bitch. Let me tell you...I have been fighting with this fucking thing for days...and now...relief, sweet relief...

just thought I would share that with you!!

cam

I was driving to work today and I was listening to ol Tim McGraw....(yes, Cam does listen to other genres of music, country included!!). I was jammin out to the song Red Rag Top - It was off of his last CD, which is a very good cd BTW. As I was weaving in and out of traffic in a sight daze of no sleep, I heard a set of lyrics that just kinda hit me....


"Well you do what you do and you pay for your sins,
And there’s no such thing as what might’ve
Been, that’s a waste of time; drive you outta your mind"

I had to rewind and listen to them again. It made me think about my life and my decisions. I have made good decisions 98% of the time, but the other 2%, I tend to dwell on. Like he said, it will drive you out of your mind. My buddy B has been great to me this year. He is constantly telling me not to live in the past and not to dwell in things. I am finally starting to see that. I appreciate him for that dearly. For some reason though, I keep thinking...I want to figure things out why they are and why they were. It does literally "drive me out of my mind". I am always thinking...whether it be about good or bad...more than usual, the bad out weigh the good. As I was on my date last night, she said something to me that kinda also re-iterrated what B has been telling me....she said "if you keep searching, you will never find the right reasons or the right answers to anything." This is true, if I really think about it. I need to be more "non-thinking" and just live.

A lot of people think that I run from issues. My problems. I was talking to her last night and I told her that I wasnt running from my problems and my past, I was running from the things that re-hash from them once the problems or past is done. I never worded anything so simple and without even thinking. I answered the age ol issue for myself. I dont need to run. There is nothing there to run from and the search is just my insecurity of being alone. Funny how country music can pull things out of you when you least expect it. I dont think any of this would have been possible without help from a couple of people as well too. I mentioned them above.

So, what do I do? I exist and live to forget about the "might have beens" and enjoy my life with the great people I have in it. Thank you all for being apart of ol Cam's life. As for the other people that were might have beens.....nice to meet you.....and goodbye, it's time for Cam to move on.

is limited. Do everything you can in life and never look back....enjoy where you are and the things and friends you have...you may never see them again!

...time for me to write more music...gotta go!

cam

to my sister and her new husband - They got married today...and she phones me right after it happend....In the middle of my date mind you....LOL!

"I am mrs. nicki leo"

"congrats" I say...

"your brother wants to say hi"

"Hey bro"

"Congrats my brutha!"

"thanks, but I have to go cuz your sister is gambling our money away!!"

"LOL"

"C you soon, cam"

"Later bro"

click!

I am very happy for my sister and Will. He is a great guy...plus, he drives a Jeep.

peace

cam

went very well. We went to Red Lobster and then to play pool downtown. She promptly kicked my ass 2-0 and then she lost on the 8 ball. After this we drove back into town and went back the house of cam....she is wonderful. She really has some great insight and is very open to the way I am (my religion, my music, my way of thinking..) The kiss ... to end the evening was awesome. Definetly one of the finest kissers I have ever kissed before...funny story is...she has to buy me dinner on the next date....Cuz of a little bet we made while playing pool....She makes me smile.

great night - def a great night!

cam

Isnt it funny how when you are in an uncomfortable situation you appreciate your comfortable situation even more.

This could be like when you are away from your house and you just think about going home....or when you are being hurt in some manner or see something disturbing, that is the only time you really think "how good you have it".....I think people take the simple surroundings of their whereabouts for granted all too often....maybe that is why I am a hermit...Cuz, I like staying home and being safe and reminded of the things that I have accomplished....

Hmmmmmmmmmm? - something to ponder.....

the puppEt

I wonder how Unkle B's trip was?

luv? I miss my dogs...With this new job, I find myself thinking about them more often then not. It's funny, because its like they know what is going on. I get home late at night and tired as all get up...and we go outside and then in to bed. Generally, I crash - they are pretty good about just going to bed as well. Thank goodness I dont have to work a full full day on Saturday. Only 2 to close. This will be nice, cuz we can sleep in and actually spend some quality time together.

Amazing that animals can love people like they do. They always are glad to see you and even if you have a bad day, they are there....Little B and Samanoski....Dad-dy is ready to chill with you guys again...love you little guys!!

Everyone else....just think about your animals and what they bring you....maybe do something special for them that you havent done in awhile....or if you are reading this and they are around you....give them a good ol scratch on the noggin and let them know you care!

cam

Love: The Hanged Man
Touchstone: Justice
Career: Death

It's difficult to approach your personal affairs in a cheery frame of mind today, dear cam. Justice imposes a certain rigidity in your dealings with others and this translates into an initial coldness and an eventual divide between you and the people you care about. The demands of your family, your friends or even your partner create complications and disagreements that weigh you down and constrain you. Take some time alone to think things over. As far as your work is concerned, today may well be the day where you get the green light for something you have been waiting for. The combination Death/Justice indicates that an issue is being resolved, that you are gaining acceptance. Who knows, there might even be a promotion on the cards. But most definitely, your situation will be more secure. If you've been working as a contractor or on a temporary basis, your employer might well offer you a permanent job

......interesting?.... indeed!

laterz
cam

I sought myself in a world full of nothingness. People surround me but yet they do not exist in something so pure. The mind and the soul somewhat leave me in the beginning of wanting to be someone I am not. I am not there. I am not here. I only exist in people's minds at a given state of being. What you see is not necessarily what you get with me. I speak in tongue of a long lost thought, lost in my own world of emptiness. The fragile ways of people shun to the thought that someone might be ahead of them in some sort of manner or nature. I do not exist on that plane of thought.

I transcend only to be someone that I do not wish to be......

the puppet

I'm a black rainbow, and I'm an ape of god

I got a face that's made for

violence or porn

I'm a teen distortion,

survived abortion

a rebel from the waist down

I wanna thank you mom, I wanna thank you dad

for bringing this fucking world to a bitter end

I never really hated

the one true god but the

god of the people I hated


lyrics from "the disposable teens" written by Marilyn Manson

ROTFL!....Poor thing....- ummmm not the driver ... the Jeep!

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!

This would be ... my best friend...love this guy! Unkle B...Thanks for being such a great friend.

Just in case you need to know what you need to do...

I am fucked....



and I love it.

I went over to sunny's blog tonight and saw that she took this little test...so, without further ado...I thought I would take it ... I dont think I did too well...but I think it's pretty on...



I guess I am two different people....life as a fish...

the house of cam is now open again....

It's been a whopping week and I said I would close for awhile, but you know...I have things to say...people to experience...

Tonight's posting is gunna be short and sweet.

Just wanted to thank Unkle B for the Marilyn Manson cd. This cd fucking rocks...Manson's greatest hits! Thank you B sincerely with all my heart - you made my week! Personal Jesus rocks the fucking house!

Other things:

Tonight I worked on B's car....I think it's almost tip top shape...with the exception of the oil issue which he is going to get fixed this week. We had a few beers and chilled out with the little ones.

I have been working my ass off the past few days...for a part time job, I put in over 35 hours in 4 days. I am freaking tired. My ol back is kinda hurting but I am really enjoying my new job....speaking of which ... people need to mind their own fucking business....Yes...I am speaking to you Christian wanna be god fuckers that cant seem to leave my fucking life alone....

Just in case you all are wondering....My ex girlfriend called me the other night and spoke to me about where I worked. Now, why in the fuck would she care...because her fucking brother in law cant keep his mind out of my business....do us a favor...mind your own business before your business becomes mine.

You know, I am not going to go any farther with this, but let's get one thing straight...the house of cam is open again for all your wanted rants and fucking glorious vibes. I am my own commander...I have things to say.

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

I am Jack's wasted life

I am Jack's broken heart

I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection

You met me at a very strange time in my life

The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal Church.

The salt balance has to be just right, so the best fat for making soap comes from humans.

A condom is the glass slipper for our generation

Bob had bitch tits.

peace....

cam