the phone call....
from my dad (the sperm donor dad)....happened on Friday. I was getting ready to leave for the day and the phone rings...Now, mind you I haven't spoke to him in over 2 to 3 years. He found me, and I was stuck cuz I answered the phone.
It was strange. He acted as if he had just seen me a couple days ago. You could tell by the tone in his voice that he was trying to be honest. For him, that is damn near impossible. The reason he called was to invite me to my step-brothers baby shower. Yup, you heard that right...Cam is an uncle...trust me, it blew me away too. He (my brother) found out bout a month ago that he was to be a dad...well, that he already was...Those good ol nights of one night stands caught up to him....Cute baby, but it was strange....Anyway, back to my dad.
He invited me out to my bros baby shower and then said that he and his wife would like me to come out and see the whole family. "We can cook you lunch son...whatever you want". The kniving bastard is trying to make me "have a need to come out to see them". I just sat there in awe. I didnt have a lot to say. He rambled on about his computer, and kept asking me to come out on Sunday. I told him I would call him back and thanks for the invite......I never called.....
I feel weird this weekend. Somewhat sad. I dont think it has to all do with this, but who knows. Tomorrow is another day.
It was strange. He acted as if he had just seen me a couple days ago. You could tell by the tone in his voice that he was trying to be honest. For him, that is damn near impossible. The reason he called was to invite me to my step-brothers baby shower. Yup, you heard that right...Cam is an uncle...trust me, it blew me away too. He (my brother) found out bout a month ago that he was to be a dad...well, that he already was...Those good ol nights of one night stands caught up to him....Cute baby, but it was strange....Anyway, back to my dad.
He invited me out to my bros baby shower and then said that he and his wife would like me to come out and see the whole family. "We can cook you lunch son...whatever you want". The kniving bastard is trying to make me "have a need to come out to see them". I just sat there in awe. I didnt have a lot to say. He rambled on about his computer, and kept asking me to come out on Sunday. I told him I would call him back and thanks for the invite......I never called.....
I feel weird this weekend. Somewhat sad. I dont think it has to all do with this, but who knows. Tomorrow is another day.
o.k. you may not like me after this one but sometimes friends say things that make you angry and they are still looking out for your best interest. Call your dad. You are too old to act this way with him. You have every right to be angry and hurt but you are acting these feelings out like a child would. I know b/c I'm guilty of doing the same thing from time to time. You think that 'you got him' but you also hurt your step-brother, nephew, and the rest of your family over there. Did they all hurt you? No. Now I know that you and I have had many of talks about this and I know that he hurt you in so many ways but that was then. Life is too short to waste your energy on anger and resentment. Now I never expect you to forget but to forgive. He's reaching. Like you said he was trying to be honest. What are you afraid of? He can't hurt you anymore. I'm not saying be best friends with the guy just to accept an outreached hand. I spent 3 years not talking to my mother for things that she did to me in the past. What a waste. If I'm not talking to her then she can't apologize. As you know we obviously talk now and she did apologize. It wouldn't have mattered though. We all make mistakes and I know that I sure as hell don't want people holding mine against me for the rest of my life. Do you? You have invested so much energy in hating this guy. You say that he was trying to make you have a need to come out and see them? Of course he is, wouldn't you? He's grown up and changed and probably wants to make amends. I'm not saying it's the end to the past, rather the beginning to a new future. Trust me, you will never regret forgiving somebody. It takes such a burdon off of you. You don't want to find yourself regreting that you didn't one day when you are at his funeral. Death has a way of making people want to make things right. Unfortunately it's too late by then. Wow, as you can see I feel quite passionately about this. Just trust me, this will even be a bigger deal the day that you look into your own childs eyes for the first time. You will fuck up raising him, no parent is perfect. (Hopefully you won't fuck up like your dad did) - still when you do you will be terrified that your son will never forgive you and what if he didn't... I'm so sorry if I hurt you but I love you enough to be honest with my feelings about this one... You'll always be my friend even if I'm not always yours.
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2:11 PM