Timing...
I dont know where to begin today. It seems as if my days all roll together...between all the shit I have going on with two jobs, trying to finish work on an album, taking care of Mojeepin.com and getting ready to move, I feel like I am wore out. My mother told me today that she prb thinks that I dont realize what all I have going on and how much I work. I told its just something that keeps me going. I have been thinking recently about what is it in life that I would like to do. Would I like to move to Wisconsin, Kansas City, maybe Florida?? I just dont know. I would like to follow my path into music and do something with that, but I also feel like I am supposed to "help" out people or animals in someway. Do I need to become a teacher, a therapist....or is my music the thing that is going to "help" others? I feel pretty lost right now.
As for things elsewhere in life, they seem to be going great. Since the house has sold, a huge stress is off my back. Once I get moved and get all the deposits and fees paid, I think I will be having a chance to get back to me for awhile. The sad thing is, I wont be unpacking a lot of my stuff because I am making a BIG move in 6 months. While I think of this, there is a song that goes through my mind.....its "To all the girls I've loved before".....dont ask me why....but for some reason its there....maybe its the goodbye song to all the ladies in my life that I have gotten to know, or could it be to all the ones I have been in relationships with?? Anywho, who care right? Back to where I was going!!
I watch my friends get married, have babies, get divorced, go broke paying child support from the babies they just had .... Its all a crazy cycle I think. I think about when it will be my time to do all this?....what does it take to find that one person you want to be with the rest of your life? They say you just know it. I have a feeling I do know who it is....but every effort I make seems to get no response until a few days later. I know she is busy but damn!....LOL! It's like as much shit as I have going on ... I still make time for her. It's like that is the only part missing from my life. A few people told me that I dont like to be alone; that I cant go long without having someone next to me female wise. Somedays I agree but most of the time I dont. I am not looking for anyone, its like it just kinda happens and its always the wrong one. Shit goes bad, people are people and feelings get hurt. Generally, I can hurt the feelings quicker then they can mine. I think this is possible because I know that they are not "the one". So, I dont let myself get too attached.
There are so many things on my mind. This blog thing has changed tones the past few months, and I seem to be more calm on it unlike the old days of the Jeckal and Hyde scenario I was going through....LOL! That is a pretty good analogy huh? Springpatch bores the fuck out of me. I do nothing but work. I dont have time to do the work I want. I dont get to see my family or friends like I used to. My dogs seem to be distant from me, then on my day off (Sunday), they are all over me. I feel bad for them. Maybe this move for the next 6 months will take care of some of these feelings I am having. It will give me time to figure some things out. It is def. a turning point in my life letting go of the final piece of me and my ex-wife. The house was the very first thing we bought. I have had many chances to sell it over the past few years....it was like, it was never time or the right time....then suddenly I put it on the market and it sells within 2 months.
Amazing how timing is everything....or is it?
As for things elsewhere in life, they seem to be going great. Since the house has sold, a huge stress is off my back. Once I get moved and get all the deposits and fees paid, I think I will be having a chance to get back to me for awhile. The sad thing is, I wont be unpacking a lot of my stuff because I am making a BIG move in 6 months. While I think of this, there is a song that goes through my mind.....its "To all the girls I've loved before".....dont ask me why....but for some reason its there....maybe its the goodbye song to all the ladies in my life that I have gotten to know, or could it be to all the ones I have been in relationships with?? Anywho, who care right? Back to where I was going!!
I watch my friends get married, have babies, get divorced, go broke paying child support from the babies they just had .... Its all a crazy cycle I think. I think about when it will be my time to do all this?....what does it take to find that one person you want to be with the rest of your life? They say you just know it. I have a feeling I do know who it is....but every effort I make seems to get no response until a few days later. I know she is busy but damn!....LOL! It's like as much shit as I have going on ... I still make time for her. It's like that is the only part missing from my life. A few people told me that I dont like to be alone; that I cant go long without having someone next to me female wise. Somedays I agree but most of the time I dont. I am not looking for anyone, its like it just kinda happens and its always the wrong one. Shit goes bad, people are people and feelings get hurt. Generally, I can hurt the feelings quicker then they can mine. I think this is possible because I know that they are not "the one". So, I dont let myself get too attached.
There are so many things on my mind. This blog thing has changed tones the past few months, and I seem to be more calm on it unlike the old days of the Jeckal and Hyde scenario I was going through....LOL! That is a pretty good analogy huh? Springpatch bores the fuck out of me. I do nothing but work. I dont have time to do the work I want. I dont get to see my family or friends like I used to. My dogs seem to be distant from me, then on my day off (Sunday), they are all over me. I feel bad for them. Maybe this move for the next 6 months will take care of some of these feelings I am having. It will give me time to figure some things out. It is def. a turning point in my life letting go of the final piece of me and my ex-wife. The house was the very first thing we bought. I have had many chances to sell it over the past few years....it was like, it was never time or the right time....then suddenly I put it on the market and it sells within 2 months.
Amazing how timing is everything....or is it?
i may have to comment on this one later!
-nick
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Anonymous |
8:17 AM